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Как разрешать конфликты по-взрослому

Для успешного менеджера, крайне важно уметь контролировать свое поведение. Согласно исследованиям ведущих университетов мира, способность отслеживать, регулировать и оценивать свое поведение положительно коррелируется с успехами в карьере и в жизни.
Когда вы напряжены или находитесь под большим давлением, первым шагом является осознание своих внутренних ощущений. Вы должны понимать, что можете повести себя некорректно с другими людьми в силу своего текущего внутреннего состояния. В таком состоянии, постарайтесь уменьшить количество контакта с коллегами и подчиненными, а также сразу предпримите меры для снижения нагрузки на нервную систему. Консультация с психотерапевтом и отдых должны помочь исправить ситуацию.
В ситуации, когда превентивные меры не могли быть приняты, важен навык регулирования своего поведения.  Если кто-то пытается вас провоцировать, осознайте что вы находитесь в стрессовой ситуации. Простая схема для регулирования своего поведения при воздействии раздражителя: вместо того, чтобы сказать что-то неприятное - просто досчитайте в уме до 10 и переведите ситуацию в шутку. Считайте, что за каждое успешное регулирование поведения, вы зарабатываете +5 очков в отношениях с коллегами, а при потере контроля, вы теряете эти 5 очков.
Завершающий этап – это оценка своего поведения в конфликтной ситуации. В случае, если вы не сорвались на конфликт, а дипломатично обсудили ситуацию с другой стороной, у вас появляется совершенно особое чувство. Это чувство напоминает ситуацию, когда вы хотели съесть шоколадку, но предпочли съесть творог. И не важно что творог был безвкусный, ведь у вас осталось нечто большее - чувство, что вы сделали правильный выбор. В ситуации, когда регулирование поведения в конфликте прошло менее успешно, похвалите себя за прогресс и сделайте выводы, как вы поведете себя в следующий раз.

Автор статьи: Дмитрий Семин, президент SeminGroup.

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